Yesterday, I shared a post on the 5 things your wife needs every day, and it stirred up a LOT of conversations. As promised, I’m writing the sequel and focusing in on the daily needs of husbands. Understanding each other’s needs is vital to the longterm health and happiness of your marriage.
As I stated in the first post, this list isn’t meant to be comprehensive or universally applicable to every single marriage (because we’re all unique), but I do believe these “needs” represent the vast majority of men.
Here are 5 things your husband needs (in no particular order):
A man’s need for respect is every bit as strong as his need for sex. Even in those moments when he doesn’t “deserve” your respect, still give it and you’ll be affirming him and bringing out the best in him. Ironically, your husband usually needs your respect the most in those moments when he “deserves” it the least.
2. The need for reflection.
Most men have a hard-wired need for daily silent reflection. They need to unplug and decompress. This isn’t an excuse to lounge on a recliner all night drinking beer and watching Sportscenter, but do your best to give your husband some time daily to have a few moments of uninterrupted time to reflect and decompress.
3. The need for sex.
The husband doesn’t always have a stronger drive than the wife, but most men list “sexual fulfillment and frequency” as their number one or number two need in marriage. “Daily” intercourse may not be possible or practical, but make frequency a priority.
4. The need to feel productive.
Men can gain deep levels of satisfaction, energy and self-respect from what they “produce” daily through their career and/or service. Men want to know their work is making a positive difference. Affirm your husband’s work inside and outside the home and look for ways to encourage and support his endeavors.
5. The need to feel strong.
Every little boy wants to grow up and be a “superhero” and grown men still hold those same desires to be strong and heroic. Regardless of how much (or little) we can bench press or the size of our love handles, we want to feel like powerful protectors of our families. A wife’s words and actions have the power to make a husband feel like a hero, so build him up and help him become the best version of himself.
Want to learn more about how men think, feel, and process the world around them? Check out the Through A Man's Eyes video series and workshop for expert advice and insight on how to understand and communicate with the men in your life.