Sex and Intimacy

Do Christian Women Have a Healthy View of Sex?

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I was reading two articles just now that caused me to wonder “Do Christian women have a healthy view of sex?” I mean, like…*really*?

One is entitled, “Porn for Women Is Here to Stay” Here are a couple of excerpts:

“Women consuming porn is still news; and that is, I suspect, because it is still deeply ingrained in our cultural psyche that men like sex and women, well, lie back and think of the Magna Carta.”

“A study last year by researchers at the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University in the US found evidence that painted a different picture. As part of a study into relationship satisfaction, researchers at the university spoke to 1,000 couples from Brazil, the US, Spain, Germany and Japan who’d been in relationships for a variety of years from one to 51. The white coats asked participants how many times in the past month they had kissed, cuddled, caressed and had sex. And the result? Men’s overall happiness in a relationship was based on how much hugging and kissing there was, whereas women were more likely to say that their sex life determined the quality of the relationship.”

I thought about that one because, while I do agree with the author that it would appear that *still* (sigh), it seems to be promoted that men think about/like/want sex *far more than women do*, based on the amount of women who I know watch porn, own vibrators, masturbate and have read 50 Shades of Grey *and are Christian*, I’m not sure if it’s an accurate depiction anymore…or if it ever really was, for that matter.

Then there was an article with this title: “Christian Sex Rules: A Guide to What’s Allowed in the Bedroom“. Here’s an excerpt:

“Wouldn’t it be nice to have a list of sexual practices categorized by “sinful” or “okay”? Is there such a list? Would everyone agree with the list? Is there a solution to this dilemma?

We think the answers to those questions are: yes, no, no, and probably not—in that order. We’d really like to create such a list that could settle once and forever the niggling doubts about sexual practices. But that’s not possible. Different communities of Christians have different understandings about sexual practices that are based on a few general biblical principles. No list would be accepted by all Christians. Still, we do want to provide some guidelines that we hope will help you enjoy the gift of your sexuality to the fullest. That’s what we’re convinced God wants for each of his children.”

I read through most of the article, and, for the most part, I agree with where the authors are coming from. I think what struck me most about it, however, is that I’m wondering if a part of the reason why so many *Christian women* are drawn to “worldly views” of sex is because the “50 Shades” book encourages an uninhibited view of sex while, in the Christian arena, we get articles like “Christian Sex RULES”; that even when there are websites that try to break out of such…restrictiveness from a Christian point of view (such as ChristianNymphos.org), there are challenges at every turn.

I remember a bishop by the name of Noel Jones once saying, “The main place the Church wants to be is that last place that it needs to be: married people’s bedrooms.” It makes me think of a woman who told me that for the first two years of her marriage, she resented her husband for bring lingerie home because she was told that sex was dirty for so long (she got married as a virgin), that she didn’t know to embrace her sexuality once it was “permissible” to have be sexually active. It also makes me think about how when I go on the Porn & Pastries trips, how much time I spend talking to virgins who are addicted to porn, girls who are sleeping with their boyfriends (sometimes in three-ways and orgies) and married women who hate *every minute* of sex with their husbands.

Those are *extreme* cases of how sexual activity is transpiring. Something’s not right. There is obviously a disconnect somewhere.

I have an idea of what it is, but before I throw in my two cents, let me know what you think:

“Do Christian women have a healthy view of sex?” If you think so, why? If you don’t think so, why not?

This article was originally published here and is used with permission.

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