This is part two of a three-part series focused on helping you get on the same financial page with your spouse. I have used these three steps to work through substantial financial challenges and achieve some of my biggest plans, hopes, and dreams. I’m confident they can help you move forward to living a fully funded life!
Once you’ve planned your financial conversation, as we discussed in part one (How To Get On The Same Financial Page With Your Spouse), it is time to actually have it.
Step 2. Talk with your spouse
If you have children, arrange for a babysitter. Schedule a night out together. For example, you could make reservations for a nice dinner and then proceed to your favorite coffee shop. Share the news that you want to discuss something extremely important to you.
If you do this correctly, you will gain their full attention, because this sort of statement is not something your spouse probably hears every day.
Proceed to share your concerns with your spouse, but do so in terms of your unrealized dreams. Here are some example statements to consider:
- “I am concerned that if we do not begin working together to plan our finances, we may not get to go to Hawaii for our 25th anniversary.”
- “The children are growing up so fast, and we have not started saving for their college yet.”
- “I was doing some math the other day and realized we have earned over $500,000 over the past ten years. How is that possible and where did all of our money go?”
It is very important to avoid putting your spouse into a defensive position. If you do, this will not be a productive conversation at all. Always guard the heart, protect your spouse, and address the problem. After all, the issue is not purely a financial one, it ultimately is a “missed dreams and goals” problem.
Once you’ve had the necessary financial conversation, it is time to move forward by taking action, which we’ll discuss in part three!
Joseph Sangl is a leading teacher of personal finances and the founder of I Was Broke. Now I’m Not., an organization committed to helping people live fully funded lives. He’s also the author of several books including his latest release, “I Was Broke. Now I’m Not.” Joe resides in Anderson, South Carolina with his wife, Jenn, and their three children. You can connect with Joseph on Twitter.
Don't give up on your marriage. It is worth the effort and investment. If you feel like your marriage is struggling, or even failing, there is hope. There is healing.