Raising Kids Sex and Intimacy

Let Your Kids Know Sex Is Good

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Something that I find to be extremely unfortunate (and also quite odd) about how the Church (as a whole) approaches sexuality is that it seems like until someone’s wedding night, even now, all young people are told is “Don’t do it” (with maybe some “fear talk” about STDs, unwanted pregnancies and hell thrown in).

Yet, being that God made sex, isn’t it a beautiful thing? And to add to that, being that we are born as sexual beings, shouldn’t there be more that’s said about the fact that desiring to have sex is natural but in order to partake in it in the best way possible, waiting for someone who loves you enough to commit to you is ideal?

You see, I discern that a big part of the reason why the media/porn/the world of casual sex is able to seduce so many young people is because while “we’re” (and I use “we’re” lightly-LOL) talking about how “bad” and “wrong” it is, they are totally promoting the other side: the pleasure. And the sad thing is that both the Church and the world are so imbalanced in its approach that it’s costing teenagers. They are not able to see sex for the gift that it is. It’s either a “sin” or it’s an orgasm.

No more. No less. And that’s really…sad.

For one thing, sex is not a sin. Having sex outside of God’s intention is where the problem lies. And it’s not because of the act itself but because it dismisses sex’s true purpose: oneness.

However, outside of marriage sex can be very damaging. In a study recently released on ABC News it was cited that when a teen gets hooked on things like porn, there is a significant chance that it actually could lead to a loss of their sexuality. Lots of (unhealthy) sex can hinder your sex life. Oh, the irony.

There’s even an author by the name of Gail Rines who has penned a book entitled Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality. The title caught my attention, not because we haven’t come to that same conclusion here at X3 Church but because of the word that Ms. Rines selected: hijacked. Hijack means to steal and to rob, oftentimes by force.

Wow, right? God gives us the gift of our sexuality and porn abuses sex in order to rob that from us; some to the point that once it’s time to actually engage in sex with our covenant partner, they can’t. (And I personally know people who are married to individuals who have this testimony). John 10:10 tells us that Christ came so that we could have abundant life while the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. It really is time that we apply that to our sex lives just as much as everything else.

So the next time that you sit down to have a conversation with your child about sexuality, please share with them how beautiful, amazing and awesome they are and sex is…because it is. And then talk to them about how sex outside of the confines of marriage, even when it’s porn or masturbation, is not worth it.

More than anything because it can rob them of their sexuality.

And they (and their future partner) deserve to have all of the good that sex has in store.

This article was originally published here and is used with permission.

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