Through thousands of interactions with people online and in person, I’ve seen that many (if not most) people feel STUCK in a rut in some part of life. Maybe it’s in their marriage, or their career, or their physical fitness or their finances . One common factor I’ve observed in almost EVERY person who has felt stuck for a long period of time, is that their conversations are filled with two seemingly insignificant words that are actually one of the biggest reasons they’re staying stuck.
Every situation is unique, so this certainly doesn’t apply in 100% of situations where someone feels stuck, but I hear these two words most of the time. These words give the illusion that we’re powerless to change or improve the circumstances of our own lives. They create a victim mentality instead of allowing us to approach life with courage and action. The two words that keep you stuck? These might surprise you. They’re “if ” and “then. ” Let me explain…
Have you ever found yourself saying something like this…
IF my husband/wife would just do their part, THEN I would work harder on our marriage.
IF my boss would just treat me better, THEN I would put in more effort at work.
IF things would just slow down in my life, THEN I would have time to exercise and eat right.
IF the politicians would get their act together, THEN my quality of life would improve.
IF I would just win the Powerball, THEN my dreams would finally come true.
IF things would start going my way, THEN I could be happy.
And the examples go on and on.
When we get stuck in the “If, Then” trap, we’re giving up control, because we’re assuming that every aspect of our life and happiness is under someone else’s control (your boss, your spouse, the lottery numbers, etc.). God created you and me to live with courage and confidence. We can’t always control what happens to us, BUT we can always control how we choose to respond.
Let’s stop making excuses and start making a way. Let’s stop waiting to “catch a break” (which is out of our control) and start looking for a way to make a break! Let’s refuse to stay stuck in a rut when we could start today by making some changes in our attitudes and our habits that could make a huge impact in our lives, careers, relationships and our faith over the long haul. Let’s refuse to live as victims when we were created to be world changers! For more on this, you can watch my one-minute video on the “two words that will keep you stuck” by clicking here.
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Don't give up on your marriage. It is worth the effort and investment. If you feel like your marriage is struggling, or even failing, there is hope. There is healing.