Jeanette and I got married young, and we didn’t really know what we were doing at first. We got a lot of advice from older couples, some of which we welcomed and some of which just seemed odd and out of place, but which we took anyway, because we knew the couples giving it to us at least meant well.
One piece of advice we got that we really took to heart had to do with the number one. We determined to put that number to use in our relationship, so that we could truly become one.
Here’s how it worked. We agreed to dedicate time together in the following ways:
1 hour every day.
1 night every week.
1 weekend every month.
1 week every year.
Now, of course, we spend a lot of time together outside those parameters, but we decided we needed to be intentional about budgeting this kind of time, especially once we started having kids and work/ministry obligations and soccer practices and all the other things that eventually steal all your time from you.
And what do we do during our one?
Sometimes we talk about important things like God or everyday things like grocery lists. Sometimes we have sex! Yes, I said it. We have realized how important sex is in our relationship and the intimacy that it builds so we have worked to make that a priority as well
So, here are 3 “gets” that will keep your marriage passionate:
1) Get out.
If you don’t get out frequently, your marriage will suffer and/or be over. If you enjoy spending time with your spouse but don’t schedule it out, then you don’t enjoy the time.
I work from home all day when I am in town. On Fridays, since the kids are off at school, Jeanette and I usually go see an early movie (only 6 bucks!) and then go to lunch. Afterward, I get back online and work, and no one knows I was at the movies. In addition to that, we try and do a fun activity or night out once a week with no kids, whether that is just dinner or some event we are invited to or with friends.
2) Get away.
My personality is such that I always like looking forward to something and am planning ahead. Jeanette turned 40 recently; I had a trip planned for her birthday. Christmas break, we have a trip planned. I’m already planning and looking ahead at what we are doing next summer. Don’t get caught last-minute on things: plan ahead both for your spouse and family.
3) Get help.
If you’re having trouble thinking up new things to do for date night, Jeanette and I just signed up for this service called Datebox. It’s a monthly subscription service that sends a new box—packed with cool stuff for your date night—every month to your doorstep.
If you use the coupon code “strongermarriages” you’ll get the first box entirely free.
I heard the first month is a chef-instructed video, plus fresh ingredients, for you to make dinner together. Then there’s dessert, a game to play together, and then stationery and postage to write each other letters that get mailed back to you on Valentine’s Day.
Pretty fun, right?
Again, use the coupon code “strongermarriages” to try the first month and free and see what you think!
Hopefully these three “gets” will inspire you to get more passion into your marriage and get a stronger relationship.