Raising Kids

Are You Trying to Be a MILF?

I was recently talking with a friend about her transition to Washington D.C., the city we live in.  Since she has spent quite a bit of time in conservative environments overseas (and her time on this side of the pond has also been in more traditional communities), she was pretty surprised by the short hem lines and cleavage-baring tops walking past her on the streets of D.C.  Even more shocking to her was the way that strong Christian women dressed—both on the weekends and at church.

PrintIt’s something that I’ve noticed too, both in the pews and on the streets—women (single, married and mothers) show off their bodies.  Almost every Sunday, I find myself struggling to focus because I’m too concerned about the backless dress in front of me, or the rump-grazing shorts on the lady in the communion line.

Sadly, despite my frustration at everyone else, I show skin too, and as my friend and I talked, we wondered whether we are caught up in a sliding scale of modesty.  Both of us have adjusted our wardrobes to some extent as fashion has changed, and we both agreed that we aren’t as modest as we once were.

Additionally, I’ve had several conversations with Christian women who have told me they want to be a MILF, that is, a “Mother I’d Like to [well, have sex with]”.  I have, at times, sensed the competition among moms to be the “sexiest” of the bunch.  They stay on top of the trends, dress in the same clothes that their daughter’s wear, and wear shorts just as short as most of the teens I work with.  As a result, I hear a lot of boys joking about whose mom is the hottest, and I don’t doubt that it’s difficult for those boys to avoid staring a little too intently at those moms that are baring bra straps or lots of cleavage.

It’s my belief that as parents (or youth leaders), we are called to a higher standard than the culture sets.

Remember that you are an example in all areas, including the music you listen to, the movies and TV shows you watch, and the clothing that you wear.  Your kids are paying attention to how you live your life, and they will pick up cues about their bodies and concepts like modesty from you.  If you are just going with the flow of culture, then you’ll have little ground to stand on when your daughter walks down the stairs in that backless tank top.  Think through your own motives regarding your attire and actions—are you trying to be a good looking wife for your husband, or are you trying to attract the attention and approval of the other men (and boys and girls) around you?


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This article was originally published here and is used with permission.

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