Sex and Intimacy

So, If You Prefer Your Partner, Why Are You Not Preferring Your Partner?

Just now, I read an article about a woman who has 100 orgasms per day due to something that I’ve personally never even heard of before: Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD). Apparently, it’s a rare condition (obviously) that she got after falling down some stairs back in 2001. And honestly, while a lot of us are quietly (or perhaps not so quietly-LOL) thinking, “I should be so lucky”, if you read the story in its entirety, she actually sounds more miserable than pleased…more embarrassed than anything else. Again, it would appear that we are reminded that sex with yourself is not all that it’s cracked up to be. ?

Yet, I’m sending out this blog with the title that it has because of a different article that was linked to it. OK, and again (maybe because I am currently off of the “O” list-LOL), I had no idea of this either, but did you know that there was such a thing as “National Orgasm Day” (July 31)? Well, it is a Huffington Post *Britain* article, so perhaps it’s not “for us” over here in the States. Either way, it was talking about something that *I am* aware of (and I hear plenty of women complain about): that an unhealthy majority of women are “faking it”. According to Everyday Health, approximately two-thirds of women do.

There’s someone from my past life who used to say, “Faking orgasms is a form of witchcraft.” It sounds “hilariously extreme”, but I get where he’s coming from. The majority of women are lying to their partner about reaching peaks of pleasure from them. *Now why is that?* Why would lying sexually get a “Thou shalt not lie” pass?

Especially since another finding in the Huffington Post piece says this:

“However, it’s not just the ladies who are feigning pleasure during sex – over a third of men admitted to faking an orgasm at least once during a relationship. But if you thought that the quantity of orgasms was key – think again, as a separate study found that, despite 75% of us being able to reach the big O, only a quarter of people are satisfied with the ‘quality’ of the big climax. The study by sex toy retailer Bondara found that 85% of Brits would prefer to have an orgasm with their partner. However, 57% admitted they found it hard to climax together, with over a third admitting that the easiest way for them to orgasm was by themselves.”

And so here I am with my question(s) for today:

Although there are some couples who come to this site and admit that they watch porn together, honestly, at least from my side of the blog, it is rare. Most of of the porn folks are watching it without their partner’s knowledge, or their partner is aware of it but they don’t like it and so the other person is hiding it, or the person is single.

Now if you are in the last category, this question doesn’t really apply to you. Actually, I have someone working on a blog as we speak about why she has the urge for sex as a single woman, but finds the “need for porn” to be a non-issue. For now, my question is to the people who are in sexual relationships.

Being that this study says that more people prefer climaxing with their partner rather than alone, but a majority of them are still purchasing sex toys and saying that it’s easier to do so by themselves, *why do you think that is the case*? To me, it’s kind of like the person who says, “I need to give up carbs in order to lose weight, but I only like eating carbs.” How can people get to another place doing the same thing that they’ve always done? And, if so many people are admitting that “additives” (like sex toys, masturbation and yes, porn) are leaving them empty, then what needs to be done about it?

Bottom line, if you prefer your partner, *why are you not preferring them*?

This article was originally published here and is used with permission.

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