Sex and Intimacy

Why Are (So Many) Married People Masturbating?

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In the midst of doing some research the other day…

I happened upon the website TheMarriageBed.com (a site for Christian couples) and on it, there was a feature entitled “Solo Masturbation in Marriage“. Here is some of the data that they provided on the subject matter:

84% of the men that they surveyed said that they masturbated within the last three months. More specifically:

About one in six is masturbating no more than once a month. Based on the notes, a lot of this is men who only masturbate when they are away from their wife.

Half of the men are masturbating every 5 to 15 days; this is a moderate amount. As above, some of this is due to temporarily being away from their wife. Many men masturbate as often as they would be having sex if they were with their wife.

One man in six is masturbating every 2 to 4 days; this is what is normal for a young single man with no other sexual outlet.

Ten percent of the men are doing it between 3½ to 5 times a week. This is fairly high, and this level of masturbation is often (but not always) driven by porn use.

One man in 20 is masturbating six or seven times a week. This may be a habit left from before marriage.

One man in forty is masturbating more than daily. This could be anything from eight times a week to several times a day. (See our article on Chronic Masturbation).

Only thirteen percent of wives are aware of how often their husband is doing it himself. This includes a good many who said their wife suggested or encouraged it when the couple was apart, or during a period of time when she was unable to meet his sexual needs.

About half of the wives are aware their man masturbates, but think it happens less often than it does.

Based on the husband’s estimation, four in ten wives are fairly to completely clueless about his masturbation.

49% of the men said they did it because they have a higher sex drive than their wives.

42% did it to relieve stress.

34% said it was because their wives say no often.

65% of the women that they surveyed said that they masturbated in the past three months. More specifically:

One third do it once a month or less.

One third do it a few times a month, but less than once a week.

Eighteen percent masturbate once or twice a week, on average.

Eleven percent are in the every 2 to 4 days range.

Only 4% are doing it more than every other day.

Eighteen percent of husbands know how often their wife masturbates.

Forty five percent of husbands are aware she masturbates, but think it happens less often than it does.

Based on the wife’s estimation, almost four in ten men do not know how often their wife self-pleasures.

33% of the women said that they do it to relieve stress.

31% said that their husbands leave them sexually dissatisfied.

26% said that it helps them to sleep.

Now, I’ve never been married and so I make it no secret that I don’t even think I’ve had *real sex* yet (sex within God’s will and his blessing on it), but the “counterfeit kind” was still always *far more satisfying* than masturbating. When I masturbated, I always likened it to eating a cracker while fasting. It’s just irritating.

But again, I’m single.

I’m pretty sure that this particular poll reflects a lot of marriage beds, but since husbands and wives have been given *full rights* (Hebrews 13:4, I Corinthians 7) to partake of the “full course meal”, what are you guys’ take on why so many married people are getting it on…*with themselves*? Also, do you  (really) think people are thinking about their partners when they do it?

Sound off…

This article was originally published here and is used with permission – http://www.xxxchurch.com/women/why-are-so-many-married-people-masturbating.html

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  • shan rigen

    inordinate affection

  • D Thomas

    I do it almost daily. To relieve stress or because I know most likely the answer will be no. My wife and I are intimate at least once a week. There are times where it has been four to five times a week. She has never been one to climax through intercourse and we have always found other ways to get her there. We even incorporated a vibrator several years ago and we use it quite often. Recently I found out she used it twice on her own. Once was after a quickie before I had to leave for work. I tried to offer up an alternative to intercourse to ensure she climaxed. She said she just needed some skin on skin contact and sent me on my way. That night I attempted to pick up where I left off and when I went for the vibrator. That’s when I discovered it made an appearance after I left for work. She told me that I had inspired her with some suggestive texts that I sent her while I was at work but she hadn’t responded to the texts. I can’t help but feel like she chose her vibrator over me. About a week later I came home for lunch and she was in our bathroom and the shower was running. I discreetly grabbed the vibrator and approached the bathroom door figuring I’d surprise her by joining her in the shower. It wouldn’t have been the first time. She heard my approach and told me she was going to the bathroom. I put the toy away and took our dog for a walk. When I returned she was still using the bathroom. I told her I had walked the dog and was going back to work. When I left a package was delivered so I took it back into the house. When I went in I heard her walk from our bathroom to the bedroom and back to the bathroom. I placed the Christmas gifts in our room and decided that I’d try to surprise her. The vibrator was gone. I went into the bathroom and there it was on the shelf waiting to be used. I have had this fantasy about her calling me at work and letting me listen in while she pleasures herself. She is aware of this fantasy and has always told me of her reluctance because she felt I would not be able to contain myself. Anyway she told me in that moment that that was her intention but I was welcome to join her in the shower. I told her that I thought she might have a difficult time making the call from the shower and that I didn’t want to impose on her plans. She insisted I join her and we fooled around. I went to work afterwards as did she. She sent me a couple of messages letting me know that she enjoyed the extended lunch break but I cannot help but feel it was just damage control. I felt like she waited for me to leave and was planning on having at it after I left. Once again choosing to masturbate over being intimate with me. I have been struggling with ever since. I put it out of my mind but I can’t keep it out.

  • Russell Haney

    What if they do think of each other. Read song of solomon